How Separation Agreements Work: A Plain Language Guide

When you're in the thick of a divorce or separation, its tempting to ask yourself "Why can't he just agree to something? On the back of a napkin, a whiteboard - what does it really matter?" And I get it. When I separated from my ex, I wanted to get an agreement signed ASAP. And we did - 3 months post-separation. But with the benefit of legal advice and a full understanding of what we were agreeing to.

Why did I insist on a 23 page agreement, drafted and reviewed by lawyers, with an iron-clad spousal support waiver? Because I didn't want to have to do it again in 5 or 10 years.

The truth is that separation agreements have significant legal implications. It's important to understand what you're signing, and the legal impact, before you sign.

Here’s what a separation agreement actually is, how it works, and why the details matter.

What is a separation agreement?

A separation agreement is a legally binding contract between two spouses that sets out:

• Parenting arrangements

• Child support

• Spousal support

• Division of property and debts

• Who keeps what, who pays what, and how decisions get made

In Canada, courts routinely enforce properly made separation agreements. Judges often start from the position that adults are allowed to make their own deals. That means if you sign it, you’re likely living with it.

What makes it legally enforceable?

For an agreement to hold up, a few key things usually need to be true:

• Full financial disclosure (no hiding accounts, debts, pensions, bonuses)

• No pressure or coercion

• Both people understand what they're signing

• Independent legal advice (ILA) for each person

If those boxes are checked, it becomes very hard later to say, “I didn’t realize what I agreed to.”

What goes into a separation agreement?

Most agreements cover five big buckets:

• Parenting

• Child Support

• Spousal Support

• Property

• Debt

The agreement is meant to be comprehensive so you don’t have to keep renegotiating life later. But not every detail is included in a separation agreement, because sometimes you want a bit of flexibility without needing to open it back up again.

Why “just signing something” can go wrong

Because people often sign when they are:

• Exhausted

• Afraid of conflict

• Feeling guilty

• Financially stressed

• Desperate to be done

That is not when your brain is best at long-term decision making.

And the other problem? Many people don’t know what they’re legally entitled to before they negotiate it away.

Can you change it later?

Sometimes. But it can be difficult.

Courts are much more willing to change:

• Parenting schedules (if kids’ needs change)

• Child support (if incomes change)

They are much less willing to revisit:

• Property division

• Lump sum spousal support

• “Final” financial terms

Which means the financial pieces you sign are often the ones that stick.

The quiet purpose of a separation agreement

A good separation agreement does one thing really well: it reduces how much you have to talk to each other for the next 10+ years. Clarity now prevents conflict later.

The bottom line

A separation agreement is not paperwork to end a relationship.

It is the blueprint for how you will live after it.

If you’re in this stage: slow down. Get financial disclosure, legal advice, and make sure you fully understand your rights before you sign them away.